LOOK

I'm referring to my appearance. I've been so lazy with it lately. I remember how I used to check the mirror at every opportunity. Hah! My reflection, rather. I'd look at myself through windows, cell phones, car doors, etc. It makes me laugh now, only because now I don't. I'm sure before I would deny being obsessed with my appearance if someone mentioned something about it, or maybe make an excuse for it, or just say, "I gotta look good, man." I could care less now! I go to school looking bummish or sickly everyday. I can't quite remember the last time I really spent time on my hair. I haven't had a good cleansing of the face in a good while, but that's only because I haven't been able to purchase a new set of face wash, ha. I haven't ironed my clothes in forever; I hardly even take time deciding what to wear, I just pull something out of the closet and go. I don't know what it is, really. Perhaps I feel like I'm just too busy to care, or maybe I don't feel the need to impress anyone anymore. It's possible that I am just no longer as insecure as I was, but I don't think that's exactly it. I'm still very insecure and I'm sure I'll be for a long while.

While on this topic, I also think that I've aged, physically, so much in the past year. My skin feels and looks different, my eyes are much more tired looking, and I feel like my mouth is always frowning. Solution? Botox! Although this is mostly just an observation and I usually feel indifferent about it, it makes me sad on occasion. Ahh... I may not care about my looks anymore, in general, but I do care about not looking old! I was kidding about the botox.

And also, my hair is at that akward length where it doesn't work out, no matter what I do to it. It tempts me to cut it off again, but I'm planning to grow my hair out, at least until my birthday.

Haha, I don't know why I spent 10-15 minutes typing out all of this. This stuff is not cool to read about.