ur so gay

you know.. sometimes i really question if i'm a "tomboy" i feel like there's so many womanly traits that i lack... but there's two things in this last week that have really made me feel like a real woman-

- katy perry
she's just so cool.

- sex and the city.
the movie, i still haven't seen the show :(. i saw it today, twice! not by choice but after having seen it i'm not complaining that i did. it was just awesome.
sigh. i don't want to explain how that movie made me feel, there's a lot to it. maybe i'll discuss it with someone during a real conversation. i did talk about it a bit with my girls lola and brittany after seeing it with them. it felt nice, being able to talk to them. i'm sad michelle wasn't there. it felt like it had been such a long time since we really hung out and bonded.

but no, sex and the city was fantastic. i didn't know what to expect, but i sincerely loved it.

because inside we hope someone is listening...and can understand

why do you blog? why don't you just write in a journal?
1. i'm lazy
2. when i write i'll end up writing too much... nonsense.. memories not worth eternalizing. when i can type i can easily take out what's not needed (most of the time)
3.i utilize blogs as journals.. not so much diaries.. because i hope that people will read it. i hope that people read what i type and can hear my voice through them. that although brief, they understand and can sense whatever else is going through my mind during the moment that i make that entry. with the ability to easily change my thoughts i try to, just as easily, change myself. and often i want to say something to another, but i feel like i can't, so i just tell a stupid journal. so, i'm secretly hoping that someone is eavesdropping on me and this blog.

people piss me off

One thing that bothers me...
Yeah, I'm happy for my friends when they meet new friends... but not when I soon realize that our own friendship has been sacrificed. I shouldn't be complaining- it's not like I believed in the saying "friends for life" or anything..
pfft.

Today I am here.

HEY.
I'd say I'm back to "normal". I care about things. I'm happy. I still think I'm fucking funny and sooooooooooooooooo coool. I'm worried but not -so- worried. I'm still fat though. I need to hit the gymmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm enjoying mine and Zach's relationship. I like him very much. I just don't know how long it'll last because of me and my constant need for change and growth. I checked with the senior office to see what diploma I was set to receive. She couldn't answer me for a couple days, but she finally found out earlier today. Yeah, I'm getting honors and a white gown. You have no idea how happy I was inside, I was surprised with my own reaction even. Woo. Man, I have so much more I want to say...hmm.. whatever. That's all for now.

Dorthy died for premarital sex.

I had a 3-pack of condoms. I hid them somewhere in my room so my mom wouldn't see it.... and then I forgot where I hid them. This was 2 months ago. Occasionally I'd really fret about it- I was worried that someone else would find them before I did. Well, I finally found them. They were in my bookshelf, hiding behind an elephant figurine. A figurine of Dorthy from The Wizard of Oz was also on the shelf. Excited from finally finding the condoms, I quickly reached for them knocking poor Dorthy off the shelf. She dramatically descended in slow-motion (in my perspective) and landed on an unplugged TV that was placed on the floor. She crashed and dropped her basket, broke a leg, fractured an arm, and forever lost one of her bows. It's so sad. Thank you Dorthy for your brave sacrifice.. I am really sad that she broke.