I sound like a such a sap.

I'm just clueless. I am, 99% of the time, when it comes to when a person has "feelings" for me. I am no good at determining whether or not a person "likes" me.


You know [or maybe you don't], I hardly ever get the feeling of being lonely. When it comes, though, it strikes hard. Lately I've been feeling horrible loneliness, and I hate it.


It would just be nice to have someone. Someone who I can never get enough of. Someone who I feel extremely comfortable with and can seek comfort from when I'm down. Someone who I respect and trust. Someone who really enjoys School House Rock... they have to like School House Rock, or the relationship just won't work out in the end. I know this.


But.. yeah. The point of this entry is: if you're interested in me, just... you know... holla. Ha. I guess you can say I'm single and looking. This sounds so simple, but it's not. I desperately want a simple relationship, but it's hard to have. Everything is so complicated when you're busy.
And picky. I'm picky, very picky. I wish I wasn't picky, but I am.


I sound stupid. afdjaiofajfoa K BYE. hope you enjoyed that. ugh.

LOOK

I'm referring to my appearance. I've been so lazy with it lately. I remember how I used to check the mirror at every opportunity. Hah! My reflection, rather. I'd look at myself through windows, cell phones, car doors, etc. It makes me laugh now, only because now I don't. I'm sure before I would deny being obsessed with my appearance if someone mentioned something about it, or maybe make an excuse for it, or just say, "I gotta look good, man." I could care less now! I go to school looking bummish or sickly everyday. I can't quite remember the last time I really spent time on my hair. I haven't had a good cleansing of the face in a good while, but that's only because I haven't been able to purchase a new set of face wash, ha. I haven't ironed my clothes in forever; I hardly even take time deciding what to wear, I just pull something out of the closet and go. I don't know what it is, really. Perhaps I feel like I'm just too busy to care, or maybe I don't feel the need to impress anyone anymore. It's possible that I am just no longer as insecure as I was, but I don't think that's exactly it. I'm still very insecure and I'm sure I'll be for a long while.

While on this topic, I also think that I've aged, physically, so much in the past year. My skin feels and looks different, my eyes are much more tired looking, and I feel like my mouth is always frowning. Solution? Botox! Although this is mostly just an observation and I usually feel indifferent about it, it makes me sad on occasion. Ahh... I may not care about my looks anymore, in general, but I do care about not looking old! I was kidding about the botox.

And also, my hair is at that akward length where it doesn't work out, no matter what I do to it. It tempts me to cut it off again, but I'm planning to grow my hair out, at least until my birthday.

Haha, I don't know why I spent 10-15 minutes typing out all of this. This stuff is not cool to read about.

"Smoky"

That's the only way to describe Earl Grey tea! Am I right? Right. :-) Lola agrees with me.
I love it. I'm drinking it at this very moment. Yep, I'm typing one-handedly. I kind of wish my name was Earl Grey... like Ashley Cook, it's an English name. Only, it's a lot cooler.

I woke up at 2:34 am this morning. It was not until approximately a half an hour later that I remembered what a crazy dream I had. Then, I remembered that it was disturbing. It's not often that I hate my dreams, but I did hate this one.


Day one of soccer try-outs is today! Yay.

EXCITING!

I am so, so pleased. I'm starting off the quarter with good grades. Well, with the exception of History. Don't mind that, though, I'm just missing an assignment and I will have that turned in. My teacher is the best, too. She actually wants her students to succeed! Hah, so she allows us to turn in late assignments. Ah, the love.



Gradebook Title
Teacher
Grade
Q2: P1 - Algebra Ii/Trig H
Ms. Powell
90.0% A
Q2: P3 Theatre Iii
Baravong
100.0% A+
Q2: P4:Acd
Ancona
100.0% A+
Q2: P5 - Us History Ap
H. Kennedy
54.4% F
Q2: P6 Physics H
Bires
79.7% B
Q2: P7 American Literature H
Shapiro
97% A+
Q2: P8 - Rhythmic Precision (dance team)
H. Kennedy
100.0% A+


and by my last homework assignment and quiz, I'm certain my current French IV AP grade is at least a B.

____Morning

It's 7 in the morning. I'm sitting on my carpet in my big t-shirt, watching music videos on VH1, and eating cereal. Sometimes I wish I had someone to eat cereal with.

"I adore you."

You know, I wonder about how many calories I burn everyday just from laughing alone. It feels goooood. :-)



I saw Stranger Than Fiction with Lola, Brittany, and Dallas today. It was very wonderful, I thought.

abc...lmnop...xyz

the letter a
are you available?: Mhm.
what is your age?: Sixteen.
what annoys you?: Hahah, like Julia, “Guys who don't have bawlz.”


the letter b
do you live in a big house?: It’s big enough. I prefer small houses anyway.
when is your birthday?: Feb. 3rd
who are your best friends?: Yucca and Shenice

the letter c
what's your favorite candy?: Almond Joy!
who's your crush?: Michael Phelps is one of them. ;]
when was the last time you cried?: Two weeks ago-ish, toward the end of the quarter.

the letter d
do you daydream?: All of ze time.
what's your favorite kind of dog?: Pembroke Welsh Corgis!!! & Chocolate Labs

the letter e
how do you like your eggs?: I like them over-hard. I’m not a fan of wet yolk or scrambled.

the letter f
have you ever flown in a plane?: Yes, I looooove it!
do you use fly swatters?: I have, I haven’t lately.
have you ever used a foghorn?: Nah.

the letter g
do you chew gum?: All the time.
are you a giver or a taker?: Both, I guess. Most of the time people force me to take what they offer me. :p
do you like gummy candies?: Not really, but I do like gummy vitamins!!!

the letter h
how are you?: Gooooooooooooooooood.
what's your height?: 5'0 :’(
what color is your hair?: “Brilliant[ly] Brunette” haha.

the letter i
what's your favorite ice cream?: Coffee!
have you ever ice skated?: Yes! I’ve been wanting to go again for so long! Let’s gooo.
do you play an instrument?: I wish. : (

the letter j
what's your favorite jelly bean?: I think it was Dr. Pepper.


the letter k
who do you want to kill?: There’s nothing worse than dumb [or shady-ass] bitches…
do you want kids?: MHMM. I feel like a mom already.
where did you have kindergarten?: James B. McMillan Elementary School

the letter l
are you laid back?: Yep, most of the time.
do you lie?: I don’t like to, but yeah.
when was your last kiss?: Months ago.

the letter m
whats your favorite movie?: I absoooolutely love movies! Amelie is definitely number one.
do you still watch disney movies?: Yeah!
do you like mangos?: I do.

the letter n
do you have a nickname?: “car crashley” haha.. gah. Ash. Cook. Cookie. Bebe.
whats your favorite number?: random numbers and 3.
do you prefer night over day?: Yessssssssssssssss

the letter o
whats your one wish?: Happy people everywhere!
are you an only child?: Definitely not.
do you wish this was over?: Eh..

the letter p
what one fear are you most paranoid about?: Haaah, I guess you can say my crazy Asian mom put the fear of rapists in me :X
what are your pet peeves?: People who are any of the following: overly-shy, constantly negative, one who thinks they’re always right (big difference between knowing and thinking!!)

the letter q
whats your favorite quote?: “He’s like my soul-brother… except I want to jump his bones.” – Alanis Morissette… hahah.. oh, Alanis…
does time seem to pass quickly or slowly?: Verrrrry quickly.
are you quick to judge people?: Nope.

the letter r
do you think youre always right?: Noope.
do you watch reality tv?: No, well, when I do catch Next, I get addicted to it.
whats a good reason to cry?: A cockroach in your face. Not that it has happened, but I would if it did.

the letter s
do you prefer sun or rain?: I love the rain, but I don’t think I’d appreciate it as much if the sun wasn’t out all the time! I like both!
do you like snow?: Yeah 
what's your favorite season?: Autumn and Spring

the letter t
what time is it?: 6:23 pm
what time did you wake up?: 4:45 am
when was the last time you slept in a tent?: Last year in the summer at Lake Tahoe.

the letter u
are you wearing underwear?: Mmmmhmm, I love all undergarments, if you didn’t know.
do you prefer underwear or thongs?[girls]: underwear
underwear or boxers?[boys]: Ooooh, boxer-briefs.

the letter v
whats the worst veggie?: I think I like all vegetables. Real ones, anyway. I haate ginger, and I can’t acquire a taste for bell peppers, but they’re not vegetables :p
where do you want to go on vacation?: AUSTRALIA
where was your last vacation to?: The Philippines

the letter w
what's your worst habit?: procrastinating :[ :[ :[ :[
where do you live? Las Vegas
what's your worst fear?: That I will never stop procrastinating, causing me to not accomplish all of my goals. :(

the letter x
have you ever had an x-ray?: Yep, for my teeth and when I had pneumonia.
have you seen the x-games?: Uh-huh, I went once.
do you own a xylophone? No, but I love them!!

the letter y
do you like the color yellow?: Yes!
what year were you born in?: ’90
whats one thing you yearn for?: A better body.

the letter z
whats your zodiac sign?: Aquarius
do you believe in the zodiac?: Not usually.
what's your favorite zoo animal?: LIONS <3--<3--<3